As a writer, I often find myself lost in thought, striving to articulate my ideas clearly. This tendency to analyze has been my go-to method for addressing challenges, often leading me to believe I could resolve issues on my own. However, seeking a therapist was something I never prioritized—until now.
Like many, I carry my share of unresolved trauma and pain. After experiencing considerable upheaval, these feelings have resurfaced. While maintaining routines, engaging in physical activity, and eating well have helped, I recognize the value of reflection and support. Thus, it’s time to explore how to find a therapist who aligns with my needs.
Featured image by Teal Thomsen.
Image by Michelle Nash
With anxiety and depression rates soaring since 2020—the WHO notes a 25% rise in both conditions—it’s clear why mental health professionals are in such demand. Whether you’re returning to therapy after a break or starting for the first time, finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. The idea of sharing your emotions with a stranger can be intimidating.
If you’re eager to connect with a therapist or unsure about the process, you’re in good hands. I consulted with Kathryn Lee, a psychotherapist based in NYC. She shared insights on how to begin your search, what to discuss during a consultation, and potential red flags to watch for. Let’s explore how to find a therapist and embark on this healing journey.
Kathryn Lee, MHC, Ed.M, M.A
Kathryn Lee is a mental health counselor in New York City, dedicated to fostering a compassionate and nonjudgmental atmosphere for all clients. She tailors her therapeutic approach to meet individual needs, collaborating closely with clients.
Where Should You Begin Your Therapist Search?
If you’re new to therapy, finding the right therapist may require some introspection and clarity about your goals. “The first thing to consider is understanding what you hope to achieve,” Lee advises. “While you don’t need a comprehensive plan before your first session, having a sense of your ‘why’ can be helpful.”
This concept parallels the mindset in fitness and nutrition; understanding the purpose behind seeking therapy can enhance your experience. “By doing this,” Lee adds, “you’ll start to grasp the type of therapist and approach that would work best for you.”
How to Prepare for a Successful Therapy Experience
If you feel overwhelmed by your therapist search, you’re not alone. “Finding a therapist can be daunting,” Lee notes. “Think of it like dating, with its own set of ups and downs.”
She suggests scheduling multiple phone consultations before making a commitment. “During these calls, be open, curious, and ask questions!” (Don’t worry; we’ll provide some essential questions to ask below.)
Have a plan for how you’d like to structure your therapy: session frequency, availability, insurance acceptance, and costs.
Lee emphasizes an important point: “You’re inviting this person into your most vulnerable moments; therapy should be a safe space.”
Consider the following factors as you search for a therapist who suits your needs:
- Do you feel secure and acknowledged when speaking with this clinician?
- Is there a connection rooted in trust and empathy?
- Can you envision a collaborative relationship with this clinician?
Images by Michelle Nash
What Resources Can Aid Your Therapist Search?
Finding a therapist who aligns with your preferences can be challenging, but the internet offers valuable resources. Lee recommends exploring the following online directories:
Using these platforms, you can search for providers based on insurance, location, specialties, and identities. Additionally, reaching out to your insurance provider or asking your primary care physician for referrals can be beneficial.
What Questions to Ask During a Consultation Call?
Many therapists offer free consultation calls, which are a great opportunity to understand their approach and assess compatibility. However, Lee reminds us that true compatibility may not be evident until you’re in a session together. Research shows that the client-therapist relationship is crucial for achieving treatment goals.
Here are some suggested questions to maximize your consultation:
- What therapeutic approach do you use?
- What is your therapy philosophy?
- Have you worked with clients who share similar experiences as mine?
- How long are sessions, and how often will we meet?
- What typically occurs during a session?
- Have you experienced therapy yourself?
Image by Teal Thomsen
Affordable Alternatives to Traditional Therapy
Regarding cost, therapy can be expensive, even with insurance. Luckily, online platforms are making mental health support more accessible. Lee suggests the following resources:
- Betterhelp matches you with a licensed therapist based on your questionnaire responses. Messaging with your therapist is available at any time. Plans start at $40 per week.
- Talkspace offers weekly live sessions and messaging support for $65 per week.
- Open Path Collective provides a lifetime membership ($59), allowing access to in-network providers for sessions ranging from $30 to $60.
Images by Kate Thompson
Identifying Red Flags in Therapy
When searching for a therapist, trust your instincts. “There are many excellent therapists out there! Just because a therapist isn’t the right fit doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them,” Lee emphasizes.
Keep an eye out for these red flags that may indicate a poor fit:
- If the therapist lacks specialization in your area of concern.
- If you feel your therapist isn’t fully engaged.
- If you sense a lack of respect for your boundaries.
- If you feel judged during sessions.
- If you haven't set initial treatment goals.
- If the therapist has never experienced therapy themselves.
How Long Should You See a Therapist Before Deciding to Continue?
Lee stresses that early check-ins about therapy can be beneficial. “I like to gauge how my clients feel about therapy in the initial sessions,” she explains. If you feel it’s not a good fit after several meetings, “I can assist you in finding someone better suited based on what we’ve discussed.”
Remember, it’s perfectly fine to “break up” with your therapist. This could be an essential step in your healing process. “Not every therapist is the right match for everyone,” Lee points out. “However, our priority is for you to receive the best care possible.” Trust that the right therapist is out there for you.
